On PsychoSado.

On PsychoSado:
by Andrea Karla Technetos:


    "An essay on psychosexual activities which imply the derivation of pleasure from psychological, and not (only) fisical or sexual abuse."

    Someone, a person I like, presumes of showing hxx self to me, having sexual intercourse with somebody. That causes me pain. Xhe uses my jealousy to inflict me pain. That pain that xhe inflicts on me... I like it.
    That very same person... from whom I live at great distance... likes to isolate me... not answering the phone... showing hxxrself, distant, cold, uninterested and uninvolved. That shatters my heart... xhe knows it. And I like it. I like hxx inflicting on me this sense of loneliness... of abandonment. But what makes really perverse this ordeal... is the fact of knowing that xhe knows about my pain. ... and that xhe does it on purpose. And enjoys it.
    Xhe has sold my sexual services to others. Hxx undervaluation of my person... of my Self, soul... Being. Erotizes me.
    But... I'm only to hxx. My dependence. My utterly and final dependence to hxx. And that's the kernel of all this. It's seed. The real reason I know that all this is, on the final...the dispensation of Love. Xhe could leave me at any moment, and I would die. Just can't live without hxx. Nor without this "sick" relation. We both know that. And xhe provides it... as an act of True Love. But not without enjoying it hxxself... enjoying to make me suffer his way... in the same way I love to feel that suffering, inflicted by that person I Love.

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a.k.t. ; "A meta-essay on neutral english."